First, ask yourself if she is high maintenance. For example, if dating her involves a lot of drama, it’s a sign of neediness that tends towards destructive relationships. She may enjoy the drama and need a lot of attention. A lot of times, someone who experiences strong emotional highs can easily switch to strong negative feelings in a heartbeat. If she complains a lot about past friends or ex boyfriends, this may be a warning sign. Most healthy adults do not have a ton of burnt bridges. In fact, being a bad breaker upper often says something about her conflict resolution skills.
Secondly, you need to look at your argument history. For beginners, have you had a fight? Believe it or not, if you’ve been dating for a few months and have never had a fight, it’s a bad sign. Often this means that you don’t communicate to each other or are bottling up bad feelings when they happen. If you haven’t seen her at her worst, then you don’t know her that well. To be sure, it’s also hard to sustain an ongoing intimate relationship if you are fighting all the time, so you do want a balance. More importantly, you want to know how you each behave when you are in a fight. For example, it’s a bad sign if you use a lot of “all or nothing” language with each other and are very accusative.
On the other hand, its a positive sign if she tries to understand both sides or acknowledges when she is being a little irrational. This tells you a lot about how compatible you are with each other. Finally, how do your fights end?
Do you get some sort of resolution or do you just stay resentful?
Finally, pay attention to what her other relationships are like. For example, does she have a lot of family issues?
Similarly, how does she treat her friends?
Seeing how she treats her friends and family shows you how she treats those who are close to her. Keep in mind, if she treats them poorly or talks behind their backs, she probably will do the same to you. Happy people show respect to others. Finally, ask what her friends and family are like. Experts say that we take on qualities of the five people we hang out with the most.
If you don’t like her closest friends, consider getting to know her longer before you say “I love you.” Plus if this relationship leads to marriage, they will be around for a long time.
If you follow these steps, you will know when to say to your special girl, “I love you”.